We at the McCarty Metro hope that everyone watched our own Steve McCarty once again appear on Money Mondays with Murray Feldman from Fox 2 News in Detroit. Steve talked about funding your child's college education, but a short q&a about the stimulus package was somehow cut. The Metro acquired the transcripts of the cut segment.
Murray: This past year, we taxpayers received an 'Economic Stimulus' payment. What exactly is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
Steve: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Murray: Where will the government get this money ?
Steve: From taxpayers.
Murray: So the government is giving me back my own money ?
Steve: Only a smidgen of it.

Murray: What is the purpose of this payment ?.

Steve: Obama's' plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-def TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Unfortunately, that actually is stimulating the economy of China. You just have to spend it wisely, If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, for example, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, China, Indonesia, Malaysia and many other parts of the world. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Chili, Honduras, Panama, Guatemala and much of the rest of South America. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan, Korea or China. If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan. If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, why not keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, or going to ball games, or spending it on prostitutes, or beer or tattoos. These are the only American businesses still operating in the US. So, my suggestion is to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day! No need to thank me Murray, I'm just glad I could help... And gosh Murray... You sure are a tall drink of water. I am actually standing behind this podium on my tippy toes, and you TOWER over me. Watch the real interview


A Metro Q&A with the always politically correct Larry McCarty
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? 
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.


Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'
Q. What's the difference between a northern and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...', and a southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s***.'
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. All the Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are already in the USA


Back together and reportedly clean and sober again, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are set to release a new Christmas CD that chronicles the trials of their former troubled lives set to the sounds of Christmas. Though many of the new titles will appear familiar, the couple "rewrote" certain songs to fit the spirit of the songs. Examples include "Let it Snow". "But they both are speaking of that slightly more expensive powder". Even the "Christmas Song", a Nat King Cole classic, was modified to share a painful memory from earlier days. The lyrics now start with "Crack pipe roasting on an open fire, Black tar dripping of your nose". Brad Savage reports "It's quite powerful". Other new tracks include: "Frosty the Snow Dealer", "Rocks and Pipes Around the Christmas Tree", "Blue Christmas in Prison Again", "I saw Mommy Kissing the Pavement", "There's no Place like a Flop House for the Holidays", "Bobby the Drunken Reindeer"


Chuck Pottenger reports. I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!" "Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Congress get their heads out of their butts!" "You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

With the recent outcry from the public about the new invasive screening methods of passengers, the TSA has come out with some new PR ads.




I locked my car. As I walked away I heard my car door unlock. I went back and locked my car again three times... Each time, as soon as I started to walk away, I would hear it unlock again!! Naturally alarmed, I looked around and there were two guys sitting in a car in the fire lane next to the store. They were obviously watching me intently, and there was no doubt they were somehow involved in this very weird situation. I quickly chucked the errand I was on, jumped in my car and sped away. I went straight to the police station, told them what had happened, and found out I was part of a new, and very successful, scheme being used to gain entry into cars. Two weeks later, my friend's son had a similar happening....

While traveling, my friend's son stopped at a roadside rest to use the bathroom. When he came out to his car less than 4-5 minutes later, someone had gotten into his car and stolen his cell phone, laptop computer, GPS navigator, briefcase... you name it. He called the police and since there were no signs of his car being broken into, the police told him he had been a victim of the latest robbery tactic -- there is a device that robbers are using now to clone your security code when you lock your doors on your car using your key-chain locking device.. 

They sit a distance away and watch for their next victim. They know you are going inside of the store, restaurant, or bathroom and that they now have a few minutes to steal and run. The police officer said to manually lock your car door-by hitting the lock button inside the car -- that way if there is someone sitting in a parking lot watching for their next victim, it will not be you. When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting, it does not send the security code, but if you walk away and use the door lock on your key chain, it sends the code through the airwaves where it can be instantly stolen. This is very real. Be wisely aware of what you just read and please pass this note on. Look how many times we all lock our doors with our remote just to be sure we remembered to lock them -- and bingo, someone has our code... and whatever was in our car. Please share and tell them you read it in The McCarty Metro!


For all our Metro readers with cell phones.... There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: 

FIRST (Emergency) 
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out. 

SECOND ( Locked Keys in Car ) 
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry ? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). 

THIRD (Hidden Battery Power ) 
Your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% in crease in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time. 

FOURTH (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone ? ) 
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone is stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing cell phones.

FIFTH (Free Directory Service for Cells) 
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800) FREE411 or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now. This is sponsored by McDonalds. 



How to achieve good vision while driving during a heavy downpour. We are not sure why it is so effective; just try this method when it rains heavily. This method was given me by a Police friend who had experienced and confirmed it. It is useful....even driving at night. One method used by Canadian Military Drivers for years. Most of the motorists would turn on HIGH or FASTEST SPEED of the wipers during heavy downpour, yet the visibility in front of the windshield is still bad. In the event you face such a situation, just try your SUN GLASSES (any model will do), and miracle! All of a sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no rain. Make sure you always have a pair of SUN GLASSES in your car, as you are not only helping yourself to drive safely with good vision, but also might save your friend's life by giving him this idea. 

Try it yourself and share it with your friends! Amazing, you still see the drops on the windshield, but not the sheet of rain falling. You can see where the rain bounces off the road. It works to eliminate the "blindness" from passing semi's spraying you too. Or the "kickup" if you are following a semi or car in the rain. They ought to teach that little tip in driver's training. It really does work. And for a similar reason, why "Fog" lights must make white light, or else are useless in fog. Those yellow fog lights are great in those blinding night snow storms, and those big snowflakes become virtually invisible, but yellow is useless in rain or fog. 

This next warning is a another good one! I wonder how many people know about this: A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A woman was traveling between Kinburn & Ottawa. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydro-plane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the officer what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON! She thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain, but the officer told her that if the cruise control is on when your car begins to hydro-plane and your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making you take off like an airplane. She told the officer that was exactly what had occurred. This warning should be listed on the driver's seat sun-visor - "Never use the cruise control when the pavement is wet or icy", along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry. The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the officer), was a man who had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries. NOTE: Some vehicles (like the Toyota Sienna Limited XLE) will not allow you to set the cruise control when the windshield wipers are on. Tell your family or friends you heard it in the McCarty Metro.



'It's a guy thing!

Jerry McCarty with the late Leslie Nielsen


Charlie O'Donnell, 78, announcer of Wheel of Fortune, heart failure. Sparky Anderson, 76, baseball manager (Cincinnati Reds, Detroit Tigers), member of Baseball Hall of Fame, complications from dementia. Jill Clayburgh, 66, actress (An Unmarried Woman, Ally McBeal, Dirty Sexy Money), chronic leukemia. Pat Burns, 58, NHL coach (Canadiens, Maple Leafs, Bruins and Devils), lung cancer. Rob Lytle, 56, college (University of Michigan) and Pro football (Denver Broncos) player, heart attack. Leslie "Don't Call Me Shirley" Nielsen, 84, actor (Airplane!, The Naked Gun), pneumonia.


Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the crap out of him.


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