ell it’s Christmas Time and that means those McCarty Grandbrats will be getting all the most popular new toys. Those Pampered Pixies get presents all throughout the year, but the only difference is at Christmas there is a tree in the house. Just thinking of those Fa La La Losers makes me hotter than the 350 bulb on my 1971 Lite Brite Game. We had way better Christmas presents when we were kids.

These little i-Idiots will be getting iPhone 4’s so that can video chat, text message, and call their friends. When we were kids our parents didn’t want us talking to our friends, so they got us CB radios so we could talk to the people from lowest profession known to humans…Truck Drivers. Sure most of them were transients, child molesters, and serial killers, but we didn’t care we loved it! Because we happy to talk to anybody, Good Buddy!!

And you can bet some of those Noel Nincompoops will be all wanting the latest and greatest notebook computers with i7 processors, 3.33 gigahertz, Bluetooth, and NVIDIA Graphics. Well La-Te-Dah! When we were kids we had the Commodore 64 processor which plugged into the TV Set. It had 64 Bytes of memory and wood paneling on the side of the computer. Sure the pixels displayed n the TV were about the size of a softball, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!

And those Videogame Junkies will be getting the new X-Box 360 so they can play Dance, Dance Revolution while I’m trying to watch Sports Center. When we were kids we played “Twister” which was kind of like Dance, Dance, Revolution except there was no music, no dancing, and you had a cardboard spinner. You had to try to put your feet on a slippery white shower curtain with dots on it. Sure every game ended in a pulled hamstring or someone cutting a fart while bending over, but we didn’t care we loved it, because we were happy with what we had!

So you let your spoiled kids wake up on Christmas Morning and get their fancy presents, but as for me I’m putting out the invitation for an Old Fashioned Christmas Party. “Breaker-Breaker 19 come to my 10-20 and we are gonna play Twister and watch my crappy computer display the number “1”. Do you copy that Good Buddy?”

Merry Christmas




Your Name: E-Mail:



counter hit make