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Well Well itís July and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be going on all kinds of summer car trips. I can just see those Moronic Motorists now in their fancy schmancy cars and complaining all the while. When I was a kid, we had plenty to complain about on car trips, but we didnít say a peep because we were happy with what we had.

These Safety Softies nowadays need to have all the latest safety equipment in their car. Theyíll have their kids in rear facing car seats strapped in tighter than Neil Armstrong when he went to the moon. And all these cars have air bags for front and side impact. Fiddle Foey! When I was a kid, the only ďrear-facingĒ seat we had was the crappy seat I sat in the back of my Dadís 1969 Chevy Caprice Station Wagon with the swing-open tailgate. Iíd be wedged in the back with the spare tire, some jumper cables, and 2 cans of motor oil. Sure people would drive by pointing and laughing and saying,ď Hey look at the backwards facing monkey boy in that station wagon,Ē but I didnít care, I loved it!

And you can bet those Pampered Prima Donnas will be sitting in their air- conditioned cars with chilled seats. When I was a kid, we had 8 kids packed in the station wagon like sardines and we had no air conditioning and if you wanted some air, you had to use the hand-crank windows. No matter how hot it was, my brothers in the back seat wouldnít even roll the window down because in addition to hot air coming in you would also get my dadís cigarette ashes and an occasional loogie when he spit. Sure weíd be hot and sweaty and our backs would be stuck to the hot vinyl seats in that station wagon, but we didnít care, we loved it, because we were happy with what we had!!

And those Technology-Starved Teenagers have to have all kinds of entertainment in the car with them. They will have their Satellite Radio, iPads, iPhones, 3DSs, and Video Screens so they can watch some DVD theyíve seen 10 million times already. The only entertainment we had in the car was the AM Radio that my dad would listen to. We had to make up our own games like counting garbage cans in front of houses and some stupid game where you had to say a name, place, and occupation for every letter. Weíd be bored out of our minds for hours but we didnít care, we loved it!

So you take your Boring Brats in your fancy automobiles. As for me, Iím going to buy an old 1969 Station Wagon with an AM Radio and no Air Conditioning and then Iím going on old-fashioned car trip like we used to. And Iím gonna leave the station wagon in the sun until the vinyl seats are burning hot then Iím going to open the tailgate and stuff my kids in there. Then Iím going to drive around and let them count garbage cans and theyíll love it!!


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