ll itís Springtime and that means those little McCarty Brats will be getting driven all over high heaven in their fancy cars. Just thinking about those SUV Sissies makes me hotter than the alternator on my Dadís car. We had way better cars and more fun driving when I was a kid.

You can bet these Pampered Passengers will be adjusting their head rests and lumbar supports in those fancy schmancy cars. My dad had a 1967 Ford Country Squire Station Wagon with bench seats, no airbag, and no seatbelts. That car was supposed to seat 7 comfortably but we forced 10 people in it. We were wedged in there so tight, that we didnít even need seatbelts. Sure, one day my Dad took a left hand turn and Dennis fell out of the car, but we didnít care, we loved it! Because we were happy to have a little extra leg room.

And those Info-tainment Idiotic Parents will have their iPads, iPhones, and Portable DVD Players hooked up to entertain their Cyber Moron kids. When we were kids, if we wanted entertainment while driving we counted garbage cans, looked for out of state license plates, or tried to get truck drivers to toot their horns. Sure we were so packed in the car you couldnít make the ďhonk your hornĒ sign without elbowing someone in the head, but we didnít care we loved it! 

And those Climate Controlled Kooks will have their seat warmers on and passenger air temperature adjusted just perfectly. When we were kids, if you wanted to cool down, you just rolled down the window with the manual window crank. Sure, if the back window was open when my Dad spit out of his window, his loogie would get sucked into the back seat. It was like a Bouncing Betty Fragment Spit Grenade and us kids would be diving to dodge the loogie shrapnel. But we didnít care, we loved it! Because we were happy to have the window down.

So you keep driving your Range Rovers, Ford Escapes, and Chevy Tahoes. As for me, Iím going old school and take my kids out for a ride the old fashioned way. Iím going to put wood paneling on the side of my car and load my kids up. Then Iím going to turn off the air conditioning, and only play AM Radio, and keep spitting out the window. Have a Great Spring!!

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