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THE BEST OF

From Our May 1993 Paper Edition

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ll, Steve and Kristen McCarty recently got mountain bikes so they can ride around their new Shelby Township neighborhood. Steve stopped by to show me all 18 speeds and his special cushiony-butt seat. Seeing that piece of Japanese aluminum alloy made me madder than a postal worker who missed a promotion!

When I was a kid, we rode good ole American bikes. If it wasn't a Huffy, it was nothing! These bikes today have frames made in Japan, brakes made in Italy, and seats made in Korea. The only foreign thing on my bike was when I stuck a Roberto Clemente baseball card in the spokes!

And Steve has to have that marshmallow excuse for a bike seat. When I was a kid, you had two choices... you had a banana seat, or you had a saddle seat. And it didn't really matter which one you had because they were both made from metal with a thin piece of cloth over it. We might as well as sat on the medal pipe! We used to have to have an enema to get off the seat! Even though it was uncomfortable, we loved it!

And 18 speeds! When I was a kid, we had two speeds... chain on and chain off! Chain off didn't go so fast. If you wanted your bike to go faster, you peddled while you were standing up and made siren noises. And that’s the way it was, and we loved it!

Now, I'm all for getting exercise and riding bicycles, but I believe in the old-fashioned bikes like we used to have. So Steve… you ride your little imported yuppie-cycle, and I'll stick with my Sears Stingray with the banana seat and sissy bar!

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