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THE BEST OF
From
Our November 1992 Edition |
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 ll, I'm as cheesed as a piece of macaroni on my grandma's stove over the way that we McCartys now celebrate Thanksgiving. Nowadays, Thanksgiving is just a day for kids to drink pop, play Nintendo, stuff their faces, and run around yelling, "I'm a little, spoiled, Nintendo-playing, fat kid with an orange pop mustache!"
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When I was a kid, we didn't even drink pop... Well, not real pop anyways. We had
Tico. It was a rusted can filled with warm water and food coloring. But we loved it and were happy because we didn't know any better. We didn't play no crummy overseas video games either. We had to sit in front of the TV and watch the JL Hudson Thanksgiving Parade with Sonny Eliot and his comatose mute wife. It was about as exciting as watching Mike Utley run the 50-yard dash. But we watched it and we loved it! Because we were stupid and didn't know any better. |
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Nowadays, you have to have a great big meal with turkey, dressing, and all kinds of vegetables. Why, when I was a kid, we got stale bread shoved up the butt of a pigeon, and we loved it! We ate every bit and didn't complain. You know why? Because we were tired of drinking warm colored water and watching the crummy parade on TV!
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