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THE BEST OF
From
Our December, 2018 Edition
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ED
NOTE: THIS IS A SPECIAL JERRY'S WORLD AS IT WAS THE LAST
ARTICLE HE WROTE BEFORE HE PASSED. I WILL TREASURE THIS
ONE AS MUCH AS ALL THE OTHERS OVER THE MANY YEARS. THANK
YOU JERRY! |
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 ll, it’s
December, and that means those McCarty grandbrats will be
getting ready for Christmas. Just thinking of those noel
nincompoops makes me nuttier than Charley Manson eating a
Snickers. We had way better Christmas’s when I was a kid.
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These
Christmas cretins will be getting these new fancy hover boards
for Christmas. They’ll be wearing protective
knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and helmets. When I
was a kid, all we got was a sled for Christmas. That sled
was made with wood with sharp metal runners on it and we
would get splinters, metal slivers, and all kinds of other
injuries, but we wouldn’t think of wearing any helmet.
One time, my dad even went down the hills at Rouge Park
wearing a trench coat, a fedora, and dress shoes. Sure he
wiped out and ended up with snow all down his pants and
boxer shorts, but we didn’t care, we loved it!
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And
these video game vermin will be asking for Nintendo’s
Ultimate Super Smash Brothers which means that they will
control the television for the next 6 months and their
keesters will be parked on the couch while I want to
watch basketball games. When we were kids, the closest
thing that we got to a video game was the Lite Brite.
That Lite Brite had little chards of glass that you
would stick into a piece of black cardboard to make a
picture. Sure, those little pieces of glass would get
lost in the carpeting and if you were barefoot you would
get impaled with them, but we didn’t care, we loved
it. |
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And
you can bet those duplicating dummy’s will be getting
expensive 3D Scanners and 3D Printers, so they can make a
bunch of useless plastic stuff that they download from the
internet. It’ll take them 3 hours to 3D print a Star
Wars Logo and then it will sit on a shelf in their room.
When I was a kid we had the Creepy Crawler Maker. You’d
put pieces of plastic in a mold and then turn on a
550-watt light bulb. Sure we’d scar ourselves with the
burnt plastic and if you looked directly at the bulb
you’d be seeing Creepy Crawlers for weeks, but we
didn’t care, we loved it.
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So
you spoil your little holiday hooligans and give them
all the latest and greatest presents for Christmas. And
after your kids get tired of playing with those
newfangled toys, send them to basement where they will
sit with my broken Light Bright, a rusted sled, and my
broken Creepy Crawler Maker with a missing light bulb.
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