ll it’s Christmas time and that means those McCartys will spending money on decorations like it’s going out of style. Just thinking about those Spoiling Spendthrifts makes me by butt hurt more than when I sat on a Christmas ornament hook. When I was a kid, my parents knew how to save a buck AND give us a Merry Christmas.

These Decorating Doofusses nowadays will spend lots of money on fancy decorations for the house. They will be buying LED electrical lights, animatronic Santa Clauses, and lots of other expensive stuff. My Uncle Vince didn’t need to go buy stuff, he would take a bunch of IBM Computer Cards from Crowley’s Department Store fold them into a wreath and paint them gold. Sure a new wreath probably would cost $2.50 and he spent 4 hours and $2.00 in Gold Spray Paint to make his Origami Wreath and he probably gave us all lead poisoning, but we didn’t care, we loved it, because we were happy with what we had. 

And these McCarty Dinner Dorks nowadays love to spend money on a fancy schmancy Christmas Dinnerware set. Oh they will have Christmas Themed Plates, Santa Mugs, and even a Christmas Themed Cookie Jar. Well Fa La La La La La! Our glasses at Christmas Dinner were usually stuff my Dad got for free at the Gas Station or jars that used to hold something else. My glass was a tiny Pimento Cream Cheese Spread jar that would hold about a shot glass of milk. Even in the bathroom the extra roll of toilet paper was in an empty Hills Brothers coffee can with wrapping paper around it. Our Christmas dinnerware looked like stuff you would find in a hobo’s shopping cart, but we didn’t care we loved it, because it was Christmas!

And you can bet those Recycling Rejects nowadays will be putting their Christmas Trees in Bio-Degradable bags and leaving them by the curb after Christmas. My Mom was the ultimate recycler and she also saved money. She would pick every tiny piece of tinsel off the tree and put it neatly in a box to save it for next year. Sure Tinsel only cost about 19 cents a box back then and it took her 6 hours to pick it off, but she didn’t care, she loved it!! 

So you Wild Spending McCartys go on with your free spending ways. But as for me I’m going to be in California having an Ole Fashioned Christmas Dinner, like we used to. I’m going to make my wreath out of Gold Spray Painted Lost Kitten Flyers, and then I’m gonna drink my Milk out of an empty Salsa Jar and walk around the neighborhood picking Tinsel out of everyone’s bio-degradable bag. 

Merry Christmas!!! 

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