Well it’s July and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be sitting around on their summer vacation saying they are bored with nothing to do. Just thinking about those complaining cry babies makes me hotter than the vinyl seats on my 1976 Plymouth Volare.  I got news for you little weasly whiners... Summer vacation isn’t boring; YOU ARE!! When I was a kid, we always found ways to have fun.

Those Lazy Loafers will lay on the couch all day with the remote control flipping between 500 channels saying that there is nothing on TV. When I was a kid we really had nothing on TV. We only got reception on 5 channels, but even that didn’t matter because in the afternoon the only thing that was on TV was my Mom’s stories. If we wanted to watch something we’d go out in the backyard and climb a cherry tree and look at the alley. Sure we’d get diarrhea from eating too many warm cherries, but we didn’t care, we were happy with what we had.

And those nature loving ninnies will want to go see all kinds of animals this summer. They will be wanting to go to petting zoos, animal parks, and even dolphin encounters. When we were kids, if we wanted to go and interact with nature, we’d just get an empty jar and go try and catch a bee. Then we would do scientific experiments like put it in a model rocket and shoot it off. Sure, we’d usually get stung by the bee or it would get out and chase us, but we didn’t care we were happy with what we had.

And those melanoma-fearing morons won’t even go outside without sun block SPF 300 and long sleeves so they don’t get sunburned. All we had to protect us from the sun was a white undershirt and blue jean cut-offs. The only burning we were worried about was on our butts from going down the shiny steel slide at Coyle Park . Sure the skin on our legs would blister as soon as we sat on the slide, but we didn’t care, we loved it.

So the next time your kids say they are bored this summer, just give them an empty jar and send them to Coyle Park to catch bees. And you tell them to go down that slide……..oops, I gotta go….too many warm cherries….!

Have a great summer!!