Well it’s July and that means those little McCarty
Grandbrats will be sitting around on their summer vacation saying they are
bored with nothing to do. Just thinking about those complaining cry babies
makes me hotter than the vinyl seats on my 1976 Plymouth Volare. I got news for you little weasly whiners... Summer
boring; YOU ARE!! When I was a
kid, we always found ways to have fun.
Those Lazy Loafers will lay on the couch all day with
the remote control flipping between 500 channels saying that there is
nothing on TV. When I was a
kid we really had nothing on TV. We only got reception on 5 channels, but even that didn’t matter
because in the afternoon the only thing that was on TV was my Mom’s
stories. If we wanted to
watch something we’d go out in the backyard and climb a cherry tree and
look at the alley. Sure we’d
get diarrhea from eating too many warm cherries, but we didn’t care, we
were happy with what we had.
And those nature
loving ninnies will want to go see
all kinds of animals this summer. They will be wanting to go to petting zoos, animal parks, and even
dolphin encounters. When
we were kids, if we wanted to go and interact with nature, we’d just get
an empty jar and go try and catch a bee. Then we would do scientific experiments like put it in a model
rocket and shoot it off. Sure,
we’d usually get stung by the bee or it would get out and chase us, but
we didn’t care we were happy with what we had.
melanoma-fearing morons won’t even go
outside without sun block SPF 300 and long sleeves so they don’t get
sunburned. All we had to
protect us from the sun was a white undershirt and blue jean cut-offs. The only burning we were worried about was on our butts from going
down the shiny steel slide at Coyle
. Sure the skin on our
legs would blister as soon as we sat on the slide, but we didn’t care,
we loved it.
So the next time your kids say they are bored this
summer, just give them an empty jar and send them to
to catch bees. And you
tell them to go down that slide……..oops, I gotta go….too many warm
Have a great summer!!