HELP THE TROOPS!
Want to send your support to a Soldier in harm's way, but have no idea of what to send, who to send it to, or how to send it?
While I was at the gas station...
|Find the country hidden in each of the following sentences.|
3. The doorbell sign said, "Don't touch. In a real emergency, pull the cord. Answer
4. They got married secretly, but no one is wed entirely alone, so there were witnesses. Answer
5. We needed to visit a health resort, so we went to a spa in another country. Answer
This Issue's Writers & Contributors
Thank you to the following for their contributions to this month's McCarty Metro
Bob Balch, Poppy Barsotti, Mike Borelli
Gerry Bufalini, Peter Greenberg, Austin McCarty
Brad McCarty, Chris McCarty, Jerry McCarty
Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty, Larry McCarty
Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty
Ron Patlewicz, Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney
Chuck Pottenger, Denise Sidor, Larry Wendt
Amanda Westfall, Mike Wiacek
|McCarty Metro Trivia|
We experienced a total eclipse of the moon this past month. How many men have landed on and explored the moon?
Last Month's Answer
The Beach Boys are tied for the longest time between #1 hit singles in the US. Name the other artist or group who they are tied with.
SPEAK NOW, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEAS & CARROTS
If "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", why do you guys keep writing about it?? -Just Curious
ED NOTE: Everyone is more than welcome to talk about anything they want, as long as they don't mention.... "THE INCIDENT!"
Dear Editor ... At first I didn't see the optical illusion. Both squares looked different. But after downing a 6-pack I saw the apple sitting in the upper right hand corner as clear as day. -A.B. Alyke Myarse
ED NOTE: After downing a 12 pack, you will be able to see that apple spin around with the rest of the room, and I can see you throw up in the toilet.
Dear Editor, My son, Chris, is pretty good at Guitar Hero. But is this game safe? I read about Joel Zumaya's GH injury a while back. -GR Mac
ED NOTE: Yes, there has been controversy not seen since the "Big League Manager" craze of the 60's and 70's (a cheap knock off game of Strat o Matic) when kids all over the country developed carpal spinners syndrome in their index fingers from the inferior spinners.
Submit an interesting or funny caption for this photo
Last Month's Captions
| Mmm... I'm Brad Savage's brother, Steve Savage... Mmm|
1-2-3 Stick for Me, 1-2-3-4 Stick some more
My dad with a mini beard.
Stand clear ... he's about to blow
The beer goes here. The beer goes here.
Standing behind this 2-way mirror is cool
Ok, now can I be in the village people?
Walrus tusks & whiskers, told 'ya I could grow 'em.
Ripley's Believe It Or Not points out a suburban Detroiter with finger-like extensions growing out of his jaw.
The average number of days into the NFL season before the Detroit Lions are written off as Super Bowl contenders... 5
Can you recognize our secret celebrity?
Last Month's Celebrity Was....
Mrs. Steve O, Booch, GR Mike, Raiff
In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."
As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
Now that the writers strike has finished, I am happy to say that the past 3 month's have been pure hell. Here are the top 10 things I didn't know while the writers were on strike.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
GREEN BEER WARNINGS
With St. Patrick's day coming up, and green beer drunk freely from a tap, I think there should be some kind of warning labels on the mugs (or the tap if you prefer to drink directly from that). Now I don't want labels to tell you how bad green beer is for your health, rather, more practical advice. Here is my list I would like to see...
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may lead you to think that a "2" is a "10."
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over and over and over again... until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN!!!!
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 a.m.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may leave you wondering how the hell your pants got way over there.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may cause you to wake up in the morning, roll over, and see something that is really, really scary.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer is the main cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy, named Tony.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of green beer is the leading cause of pregnancy. Proceed with caution.
A TRIBUTE TO THE ELDERLY
|"Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?"|
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