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 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES ... BY GERRY - A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
. - If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
. - Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
. - Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink
. - For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
. - Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
. - You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
. - Always Remember:
. - Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
. - Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
. - If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
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| - Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
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