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May 2006

GET THE LATEST FAMILY DATELINE NEWS ONLY ON THE McCARTY METRO!

  • DATELINE TENNESSEE
    In an effort to recast new starring roles for an upcoming Charlie's Angels movie, it is once again proven why the Tennessee McCarty's can't be Charlie's Angels

  • DATELINE TWIN LAKES GOLF CLUB
    Steve McCarty announces that the 11th annual Dan McCarty Golf Classic to benefit the Lupus Alliance of Michigan will be held at Twin Lakes Golf Club on Saturday, June 10, 2006. An 8:00 AM Shot Gun start is schedules for this scramble. The entry fees include 18 holes of Golf, Cart, and Driving Range warm-up, with a 1:00 PM Lunch - The Old Fashioned Cook Out: Choice of three of the following: Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Chicken Breast, or Italian Sausage. Mixed Garden Salad, Potato Salad and Cole Slaw, Homemade Cookies & Brownies, Coffee, Tea & Soft Drinks. SEE THE DMGC PAGE FOR MORE DETAILS.
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    NOT A GOLFER? WANT AN ADDITIONAL WAY TO HELP THE LUPUS ALLIANCE?
    Why not do a bike ride for Lupus. Surely some of the wide variety of our Metro readers will be impressed with the ride and want to get involved. Specially your non-golfing readers. Here is the link for the ride:
    http://www.milupus.org/dynamic/Bike%20Ride%20Event%2006.htm
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  • DATELINE VALENCIA, CALIFORNIA
Jerry and Kathlene hosted a St. Patrick's Day Party at their house which was converted to "McCarty's Pub" for the evening. The night included pints of Guiness, Shepard's Pie, and ended with Dart Throwing and Leprechan Tossing.Evan McCarty will be rooting for Ben Wallace and the Detroit Pistons to win the NBA Championship. When asked about why his teddy bear was wearing and Afro, Evan said, "That's no Teddy Bear, that's my Lil' Bow Wow action figure.

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Evan McCarty decorated his room in a Hawaii motif. The room includes a surf board rug, parrot lamp, grass skirt bed spread, and a sign on the door that says if the "Wanna Get Lei'd?"Dana McCarty, taking after her Dad, DJ'd a Bar Mitzvah. Despite criticism for playing "Walking on Sunshine" during the Torah Ceremony,  Dana redeemed herself by following the Hokey Pokey with AC/DC's "Highway to Hell".

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Kathlene McCarty got elected as President of the Helmers Elementary PTA. Jerry is now the first spouse. Pictured is the inaugural parade which ran up and down Courtview (until the neighbors threatened to call the cops).LA reporter, Jerry McCarty, hooked up with legendary WWE wrestler/manager, Captain Lou Albano. Albano wants Jer to be on a new tag team with Larry McCarty and have both guys wear tu-tu's. The team will be called Swan-Lake.

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Mother Of The Year
Gotta check this out - 1mb
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Honda Ad
This is real cool - 4mb
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Arrested In Texas
The police got their man - 500kb
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  • DATELINE ENTERTAINMENT
    Lance DeVoux, drummer for Brad Savage & The Cockroaches, has teamed up with new members to form the power band OX. They had a BIG gig at 'BIG SHOTS' in Sterling Heights on April 13. In attendance was Brad and Juanita Savage who gave a BIG 4-thumbs up on the performance. Lance would like to thank everyone in advance for supporting the band... the boys really do appreciate it. Check out OX when they come to your neighborhood. More info on the bands new web site www.sitekreator.com/ox

  • DATELINE GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN
    Greetings from the Banjo Disabled List. I hurt my arms around Christmastime, but thanks to lots of at-home rehab and a steady diet of bluegrass CDs, I hope to return to the bluegrass roster soon. I have begun picking, again, in small doses. And I can tell it's spring, because the birds are chirping, there's grass in most parts of my front yard, and my windows are open. For some reason, my neighbors have closed theirs. And Karen is looking in the yellow pages under "Sleep Aids" and "Support Groups."
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  • DATELINE PORT HURON, MICHIGAN
    Kelly & Margaret McCarty cashed in on a belated Christmas present from their kids, Chris, Brad, and Austin, and Chrissy. The two spent a wonderful night at the Thomas Edison Inn in Port Huron. They were also treated to a 5 star dinner at the Fogcutter Restaurant. The weather was in the 70's with a nice view of the St. Clair River and the Blue Water Bridge. The couple had a fantastic time.

NO POSTSEASON FOR MAPLE LEAFS
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The Toronto Maple Leafs have not won a Stanley Cup since 1967. They missed the playoffs again this season. Oh well... there's always next year

  • DATELINE BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA
    This Sturgeon was caught on the Fraser River just above the Mission bridge two weeks ago. That is in BC just out of
    Vancouver for those of you who are not familiar with the area... It weighed out at over 1,000 lbs. and measured out at 11'1". It was 56" around the girth and took over 6 and a half hours and 4 dozen beers for the 4 guys taking turns reeling.

  • THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
    This week, back in 1850, California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gun fights in the streets. So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.

McCARTY METRO INFORMATION TO SAVE A LIFE
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STROKE IDENTIFICATION: My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word, I agreed. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the afternoon. Ingrid's husband called latersaying that his wife had been taken to the hospital and passed away. She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some stroke victimsdon't die, they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally! He said the trick was having a stroke recognized, diagnosed and then getting the patient medically cared for within three hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE:
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: S *Ask the individual to SMILE. T *Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE. (Coherently) (i.e...It is sunny out today) R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. 

ED NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.If he or she has trouble with any one of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.A cardiologist says if everyone who gets reads this information, and passes it along via e-mail to ten people, you can bet at least one life will be saved.

McCARTY METRO CONSUMER REPORT SECTION

  • DON'T BUY PEPSI IN THE NEW CAN!
    Don't buy Pepsi in the new can. Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building,
    and the Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, "Under God." Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone. In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi corporate office, either! So if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it.

  • CANCER UPDATE --- JOHNS HOPKINS:
    1. No plastic containers in micro.
    2. No water bottles in freezer.
    3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
    Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.

McCARTY METRO HEALTH & FITNESS

  • YOGA
    Many people ask about the differences in Yoga from around the world. Here are two similar poses from New Delhi, India and Lebanon, Tennessee.

The India PoseThe Tennessee Pose

  • DATELINE: THE INCREDIBLY DUMB 
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    Actual news stories from around the country)
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    • AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
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    • Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
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    • An Illinois man pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
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    • A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
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    • A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.
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    • Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

AND FINALLY...

DATELINE LEBANON, TENNESSEE
Miss Beatrice, our church organist, is in her eighties. She is admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the preacher came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she came back in with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The preacher tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he asked, "Could you, would you, tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it  wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease. And, you know, I haven't had the flu all year....?"

We at the McCarty Metro, from time-to-time,  like to bring you current news from other publications that might be of interest to our Metro readers. Do you have an article you would like to share? Scan it and attach it in an e-mail, or just send me the url.

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The McCarty Metro
9323 Sussex
Detroit, MI 48228
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