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Gas Prices For Your AreaThis Month's Question?

This month's question is... 

What does a 320 pound woman look like?

Now, before you look at her pictures,
get a mental image of what you think
a woman who weighs 320 looks like.

Got it? 


Click Here

Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)Trivia Time
1. What always goes to sleep with his shoes on? Answer

2. What has teeth, but can't bite? Answer

3. What non plural word has five consonants in a row? Answer

4. What can go up a chimney down, but canít go down a chimney up?

5. An elderly man is going for a walk. Two young men in excellent physical condition are directly behind him, sprinting toward him. No matter how fast they run, they do not catch up with the man. Why canít the men catch up with the elderly man and where are all three people? Answer

What weekly TV program is the only non-variety prime time show to have had 3 of the former Beatles (Paul, George and Ringo) make guest star appearances?


Your Name: 

December Trivia Answer:

What pro-bowl current NFL player was once a former Major League starting pitcher in the National League?

John Lynch

Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor
 Dear Editor. Does the Metro have any used-car ads? I lost another Mercury recently, and have been walking to work. I am open to any car, whether or not it has an anchor. -Your bro
ED NOTE: Michael, Michael, Michael! You just keep on adding chapters to that book you are writing, aren't you?

 Kudos to Daniel Ziemba for the George Ford School story and photos in the February Metro. A sad event, but the Metro page triggered a lot of memories among George Ford classmates. Thanks Daniel. And thanks to you, Kelly, for running it. -Geo. Ford alum Mike McCarty
ED NOTE: I can't imagine what could possibly be running through the old Sus-Comb minds other than getting swirlies, wedgies, and the occasional Indian burns.

Send Me Your 2 Cents Worth
Hey Ed, I got stuck mopping up the bathroom at Morton's after you were in there. What other places have you puked in? -Pablo the Busboy
ED NOTE: I told my brother that I wasn't feeling well. It's wasn't fun to have the flu bug while visiting them. Since there were no camera's, I don't need to admit to anything. I was told by my CA brother that he did have a microphone in the mini-Gatorade bottle he gave me, and you might be able to hear something in the background.

Hey Editor... There are other correct answers to the February Quick Puzzles.  You had a question #1. Write down a mathematical expression, having a value of 24, which uses three equal digits, none of them being 8. Your answer was 22+2. It could also be (3^3)-3. On question #2. Add the figure 2 to 191 and make the answer less than 20, you had 19 1/2. I came up with 2/191 is less than 20. My kids Xy(15) & Linus(12) (Ziemba brats) found even more answers to Quick Puzzles number 1. 24=23+(23/23), 24=24^(24/24), 24=25-(25/25), 24=24*log(base 24) of 24, 24=24^(log(base24)of24).  Anyone want to help them with their homework?  After hearing their answers I accused them of identity theft.  If you just said, "Huh?" that's a pun on mathematical identities. -Daniel Ziemba
ED NOTE: HUH?!?! It sounds logical. Either of them know where the next Star Trek convention is???

I notice that there are always pictures of gambling on your website.  You guys bet on Poker, Golf, and the Superbowl. I think you've got a problem. I bet I can help you. -Janet Jones Gretzky
ED NOTE: That's OK Jan... We don't need Tocchet. We already have our own hockey bookie. He is a former goalie. To protect his identity, we had him don his old mask, and we call him by his code name. Mike-O. Thanks anyway.

 Thanks for all the quotes from my Dad. I thought I would give you one from after the Alzheimer's had set in. It is a quote I will always remember. "Mommy, I think I went do do in my drawers" Good times, -Ron Reagan Jr.
ED NOTE: Alzheimer's is a very cruel disease that has hit close to home not only for me, but thousands of families in the world. I hope and pray that a cure can be found. I know Ron & Julian are arguing politics up in heaven as we speak.

 Dear Editor. I know that it doesn't mean much, coming from one, measly subscriber, but I very much look forward to each and every, painstaking edition of the McCarty Metro. I find that every issue has its own, special identity, look and feel. Your on-line issues, I feel are pretty much the only things that distinguish us, as a society from the lower forms of animals; or those cuter, more personable chimps and orangutans. When you factor in the price of oil, the crisis overseas, the near total breakdown of morals and decency we are faced with, each and every day; it sure is nice to have one thing that I can ALWAYS count on to bring joy to my humdrum life - The good 'ol Metro! Why just last month I can still recall, sitting at my keyboard by the roaring fire, with my cup of hot chocolate and slippers as I fired up my trusty old computer. Listening to the soothing, electric hum of my monitor while I clicked the familiar link that takes me away to the McCarty Metro Online... 
Ahuuummmm... Never mind. -Raiff
ED NOTE: I thank you, Peanut thanks you, but Jocko wants a piece of you since you lumped orangutans in with his specie.

Hi, Are you related to Jacob McCarty of Tennessee and Mississippi? I am trying to research my family (Jacob is my 4x's great grandfather) From what I understand he came to Tennessee from North Carolina in the late 1700's. He lived in Robertson County, where his home was the scene of the first court meeting of the Robertson County Court held on July 18, 1798. His daughter married James Tagert and both families became prominent in the histories of Montgomery County and both signed a petition to form the county of Stewart from parts of Houston, and Montgomery Counties. Jacob McCarty owned lots of acreage that he received as bounty from North Carolina and bought from other soldier land owners. He died in Stewart County. James Tagert was a surveyor, Boundry Commissioner, and Justice in Stewart County. He also founded the City of Bowling Green, TN. which was later changed to Cumberland City because of another city close by with the same name in Kentucky. After Jacob died James and Sarah McCarty Tagert moved to Old Springhill, AL. where James became a representative for 2nd Legislature Session of Washington Co. until his death in 1826. Jacob McCarty's sons moved to Mississippi, at least some did. Does any of this sound familiar? If this strikes a chord with you or is part of your family history, I would love to correspond with you, as well as Babbett, a Tagert relative who is working on getting everyone listed in our pedigree. We are also trying to plan a family reunion for 2007 hopefully, barring another big hurricane which messed up our plans for this year.
Thank you for your time and consideration, God bless you, -Frances Babb
ED NOTE: Sorry, no relation, but I appreciate the e-mail.

Metro Caption Contest

Come up with a unique caption for this picture.

Your Name:

Little Known Factoids

  • The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

  • No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

  • Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

  • You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

  • Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

  • The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

  • The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

  • American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

  • Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

  • Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

  • Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

  • The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

  • Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!


  • The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

  • It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.

  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

  • Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

  • And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Great Pick-Up Lines

Metro Chit - Chat

Chat Room every Sunday night at 9PM EST

Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here are this year's winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and a Grein.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at  three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Our Family & Friends SitesIrish Jokes o' The Month

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?" "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.

Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.

March Metro Contributors

Robert Balch, Gerard Bufalini, Jerome Klotz, Jerry McCarty , Kathlene McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty
Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty, Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney, Denise Sidor

Traveling Link Of The Month - KENNEDY SPACE CENTER



The Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex is located in Orlando, Florida and features space exhibits, facility tours, and shuttle launch viewings. Your Orlando vacation is not complete without a trip to here. Just 45 minutes from popular Orlando attractions and theme parks is NASAís launch HQ Ė the only place on Earth where you can tour launch areas, meet an Astronaut, see giant rockets, train in space flight simulators, and even view a launch.

Link Of The Month


How well do you know your neighbors?
Enter your address, zip code, or city, and it will show all the registered Sex Offenders that live in your area. Shows pictures, address and descriptions of these people and the crimes they have committed.


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