Dr. Fenner

Dr. Coots

Dr. Fenner MD, retired in the 1970's after an investigation of anesthesia methods. Fenner swore by the Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard method. Dr. Coots DDS, retired after his method of tooth extraction, which entailed a handkercheif and a distraction (and the fact that he only got the correct tooth 60% of the time), came under scrutiny with the modern patient. Both doctors are now in their 90's, and they have agreed (as part of a plea bargain) to come aboard the McCarty Metro and answer reader questions with their old-fashioned, no nonsense approach. Feel free to send your questions because...

The Doctor is In

Dear Dr. Fenner:
Is dieting good for you? -Bob Phillips

My weight is my shepherd;
I shall not want low-calorie foods.
It maketh me to munch on chips and bean dip;
It leadeth me into 31 flavors;
It restoreth my soul food;
It leadeth me in the paths of cream puffs in bakeries.
Yea, though I waddle through the valley of weight watchers,
I will fear no skimmed milk;
My appetite is with me;
My 'Twinkies' and Ding Dongs,' they comfort me;
They annoiteth my body with calories;
My scale tippeth over!
Surely chubbiness and contentment shall follow me
All the days of my life.
And I shall dwell in the house of Hostess forever!

 Dear. Dr. Coots:
I have yellow teeth, what do I do? -Dave

Wear a brown tie.

A (very) Little Dental Humor From Dr. Coots...

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth

Dentist says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 7 o'clock tennis game.

Official Dr. Fenner Exercise Guide Top Ten Signs You May Be Working For The Wrong Dentist
MondayBeat around the bush 
Jump to conclusions 
Climb the walls 
Wade through the morning paper 
TuesdayDrag your heels 
Push your luck 
Make mountains out of mole hills 
Hit the nail on the head 
WednesdayBend over backwards 
Jump on the Band Wagon 
Run around in circles 
ThursdayToot your own horn 
Pull out all the stops 
Add fuel to the fire 
FridayOpen a can of worms 
Put your foot in your mouth 
Start the ball rolling 
Go over the edge 
SaturdayPick up the pieces. 
SundayKneel in prayer 
Bow my head in thanksgiving 
Uplift your hands in praise 
Hug someone and encourage them. 

Whew! Now that's a workout!

 10: Directions to the office include: "Turn Onto The Dirt Road."

9: Your dentist is wearing a pair of pants you gave to the Salvation Army last month. 

8: Your dentist giggles uncontrollably whenever he hears the words "That Hurts!" 

7: All the front keys on your dentist's personal computer are rotted out. 

6: Dental diploma appears to be a warranty from "Black and Decker." 

5: Number #1 on the patient questionnaire is: "Have you ever pressed charges?" 

4: When giving nitrous the patient is assured, "Don't Worry, I Just Tried Some Myself." 

3: When giving a local injection you hear: "Gosh, let's all do a shot!" 

2: Your Christmas bonus includes a free subscription to "Living Cheap Magazine." 

1: Your retirement plan includes a free seed catalog and instructions on how to grow your own food. 

Submit Your Questions:

My Question Is For............. Dr. Fenner M.D. ................ Dr. Coots D.D.S.



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