Ask Gwenda

People keep calling me crazy, would I be better off with a frontal lobotomy or a bottle in front of me? -Crazy Charlie

Well Crazy Charlie, I myself think if you have to ask the question, you should go for the frontal lobotomy. Unless of course its a bottle with a magic Genie. Then you should go rub that baby down. 

What do you suggest to cool down on these hot summer days? -JoAnne

JoAnne, snow cones do it for me. Snow cones and people with chilling dispositions. But if I had to choose I would take the snow cone myself.

Gwenda. I've never drank before in my life. I am underage (going to be 20) but going to Canada next week (drinking age 19). What would you suggest for my first alcoholic drink. Be gentle. -B-rad

I don't know if they have up there, but 3-2 beer. Back in the day that was what you could drink if you were under 21. You wont get wasted and you clean your kidneys out (3-2 beer makes you pee a lot). Although, if you want to look young forever. I would hold off on the intoxication and just stick with the H2O Hydration. 

Cool Summer Theme Drinks

Spice up your next outdoor party with one of these. They are guaranteed to cool you down.


1 1/2 oz StoliŪ Razberi vodka
3 oz cranberry juice
2 oz grapefruit juice

Mix or blend with ice and serve in a chilled collins glass. Garnish with a lime slice.

A Monkey's Rum Martini

1/2 oz Bailey'sŪ Irish cream
1/2 oz banana liqueur
1 1/2 oz Myer'sŪ dark rum
1/2 oz cream
shredded coconuts

Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Garnish rim of glass with shredded coconut. Strain into glass and serve.

Frozen Key Lime

1 oz white rum
1/2 oz dark rum
1 1/2 oz lime juice
3 tbsp vanilla ice cream

Blend briefly with half a glassful of crushed ice in a wine goblet. Garnish with a slice of lime and a cherry, and serve.
Hope these help!!!!!!!


Beverage 'o The Month

Sex On the Beach
aka - Gilligan's Island

1 oz vodka
3/4 oz peach schnapps
cranberry juice
orange juice

Add vodka and peach schnapps to a highball glass. Fill with equal measures of cranberry juice and orange juice, and stir or shake. It can be serve in a martini glass or a cocktail glass with ice. 

Bar Room Joke of the Month

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

Non- Alcoholic Beverage 'o The Month

Safe Sex on The Beach
aka - How not to let Gilligan maroon your boat

3 oz cranberry juice
3 oz orange juice
2 oz peach nectar
1 maraschino cherry

Pour over ice in a chilled glass and stir. Garnish with a cherry. (Really folks...
If you can't experience the whole Gilligan's Island theme, you should at least be able to drink it.)

Bar Room Clavenisms

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