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Last Month's Paparazzi
(want to download a picture, click on the rotating film to go to download page, or click here)
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Gas Prices For Your Area & Construction Information
Detroit Traffic
LA Traffic
US Traffic

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive.... So I took her to a gas station!!!

Metro Blast From The Past

The Cockroaches Play at Vinnie's Lounge October, 1983

Off The Wire

Facts About Drinking Water
One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study. 
Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. 
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. 
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or 
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)This Month's Trivia Contest
1. Find a 4-letter word that will make new words when it is added to the front of the following words. ____guard, ____line, ____long, ____time Answer

2. Which would you rather have, a trunk full of nickels or a trunk half full of dimes? Answer

3. We were four, one was cut and we were five. What are we? Answer

4. A steady stream of people enter John's place of business and remove its treasured belongings. The people do not pay for what they take. John allows them to take as much as they can carry as long as they keep their mouths shut. What are the people taking and which type of business employs John? Answer

There were 2 dramatic 1 hour TV series that were that were spin-offs from 1970's 1/2 hour sitcoms. One was Lou Grant, spun off from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Name the other.

Know The Answer???


Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor
My daughter was kicked by lead singer Eric Swan during the performance of "Three Stooges Rock & Roll" as he stumbled into the crowd. How do you want to settle? -Tony C
ED NOTE: I'll buy you a beer, since there is still a quarter of a keg left.

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my attic I have a Cockroach cassette, possibly the first and only one. I am such a big fan of Eric Swan -- does he already have a stalker? -Raelene
ED NOTE: Yes... His name is Jay

I enjoyed hearing about your trip to Mall of America. Do they have an Oak Tree store in there? And if so, were they hiring? -Dan Lehner
ED NOTE: Sorry, I didn't notice. I was too busy signing autographs at the Walden Book Store.

Where will "Timmy Don't Be a Hero" perform next? -TDBAH Fan Club
ED NOTE: You can see the band at the next Battle of the Bands at the Middle School. They will be performing their next big hit... "Timmy was a cop. On the eastside of Chicago".

Send Me Your 2 Cents Worth


Every month I get a nostalgic blast from the past from the McCarty Metro front page. I  grew up on Sussex (7289 house numbers to the north) and my phone number also started with "VE8-9". We also had a Coyle Park down on Puritan! I saw the article about getting all of your clothes at K-Mart. Did you ever shop at Federals or Montgomery Wards on Greenfield and Grand River?? -
ED NOTE: No. Pretty much K-Mart, although I did buy my first leisure suit at Hughes & Hatcher.

I like the new scrolling photo's. Do you think in a few years you might advance to Viewmaster Technology? -Ima Technophobe
ED NOTE: Whoa!!! Slow Down!!! The ViewMaster Technology is still years down the road. Right now, I am using the Kenner method and the "Give A Show Projector" technology. I preview the slides off the bottom of the top bunk.

I sent in my check for $30 to purchase the limited edition DVD of the Cockroach Party Reunion but have not yet received my DVD. However, I did see Brad Savage downing $30 worth of Hot Wings at The Pub. Any connection? -P.O'd
ED NOTE: Actually, I went to Hoops on Monday night. 10 cent hot wings and $5 pitchers. I ate and drank, and still had enough left over for my Give A Show Projector. For the next buyer of my CD, I got my sights set on a Mr. Kelly's Car Wash set. Thanks.

Hey, are you the same McCarty's that sold me an electric guitar in 1971. I got that piece of crap home and the only song that sounded good was the start of "You Really Got Me". Can I have my $20 back?? -Mark Glowicki
ED NOTE: Oh.. Come on now... I know there was a "Little Red Riding Hood" in there somewhere...

I see you have a Banjo page. I think it would be a good idea to have a Kazoo Page. What do you think?? Maybe we could even make Kazoo's that say McCarty Metro on them. Then we could all go somewhere and play them. Wouldn't that be cool? -Billy
ED NOTE: The introduction of Kazoo was when The Flintstones jumped the shark. I don't want that to happen to the Metro.

About The Metro Final Thought

Kel, Good job on the Metro as usual and I liked your final thought. You are a great brother ... I love you man!  -Lake

con·tent adj. Desiring no more than what you have. I didn't raise my hand because I felt it indicated that I had reached all my goals in life. I have much more to accomplish. At work I want to upgrade and make more technology available to students, teachers, and office staff. I want make sure that the technology improves learning for the students. At home I want to make sure my youngest daughter has the support she needs to finish her college education. I want to help my grandchildren mature into fine young adults just like my children did. I want to throw all politicians (both sides of the aisle) that think their only job is to heap scorn upon the other party so they can get elected again. They need to be working for us. Too many things need to done before I am content. -Millard
ED NOTE: And I thought you just didn't raise your hand because your arm was broken.

GREAT JOB K!!! -Steve-O
ED NOTE: Tanks, Mr. O


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and
you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9

Cartoon From Iraq

Historical Fax

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can?

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford..'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

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Simple send me an e-mail with the information, and I'll be glad to add it.
One Liners

A painter's joke may be off-color while a cook's might be tasteless.
I was going to try out a new cure for insomnia, but then I decided to sleep on it.
Would defacing money be a capital offense?
Clones are people two.
I'll travel to the four corners of the Earth to prove it's round.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Outdoor lights were put up at our local golf course for those who liked swinging nightclubs.

This Month's Staff

Gerard Bufalini
Jerome Klotz
Jerry McCarty
Kelly McCarty
Kristen McCarty
Larry McCarty
Margaret McCarty
Mike McCarty
Steve McCarty
Millard Pickney
Denise Sidor
Joke Of The Month

A blond is sitting on a train reading the paper, when she comes to a heading that reads 12 BRAZILIAN SOLDIERS KILLED. She shakes her head closes the paper and says to the stranger next to her...


Metro Subscriber Traveling Link Of The Month

The CN Tower is the world's tallest building as well as Canada 's most recognizable icon. At a height of 1,815 ft., the tower is the center of tourism in Toronto . With a chance to see the breathtaking view of downtown Toronto , the CN tower attracts approximately 2 million visitors each year. 

Things to do in the tower include walking on glass floor, eating over 1000 ft above ground at the revolving 360 Restaurant, watching a movie about the construction of the CN tower and of course enjoying the view. 

Metro Subscriber Cool Link Of The Month

Virtual Street Reality

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9323 Sussex
Detroit, MI 48228

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