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Metro News
  • DATELINE METRO HQ
    The annual Christmas name draw was pulled on Sunday, October 23 at Mr. B's in front of several witnesses. In attendance were Steve, Kristen, Megan, Jenna, Kelly, Margaret, Brad, Austin, Mom, and several drunk guys at the bar swearing at the Detroit Lions. Butch at the bar set the limit on the gifts at $30. Here are the pairings.
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    Steve drew Jerry
    Kristen drew Erin
    Jerry drew Scott
    Kathlene drew Karen
    Kelly drew Andy
    Margaret drew Kristen
    Larry drew Rick
    Carla drew Kathlene
    Rick drew Kelly
    Scott drew Ryan
    Erin drew Margaret
    Dennis drew Mike
    Mike drew Steve
    Karen drew Carla
    Andy drew Dennis
    Ann drew Missy
    Ryan drew Larry
    Missy drew Ann
  • DATELINE DETROIT, MICHIGAN
    Metropolitan Airport was closed for about an hour after a conspicuous vehicle was seen parked outside the McNamara Terminal.
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  • DATELINE MICROSOFT
    I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1970. Some of the major symptoms are Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." THE VIRUS IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
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  • DATELINE ESTERO, FLORIDA
    Metro reporters camped out at Steve & Kristen McCarty's condo, to ride out, and report on, the most recent hurricane to hit the United States. In an exclusive, the McCarty Metro has the perfect view of Hurricane Wilma. 


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  • DATELINE PARIS, FRANCE
    A man in Paris almost got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre? After planning the crime, getting in and out past security, the would-be crook was captured only two blocks away when his SUV ran out of gas. When asked by our Metro reporter how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." And you thought we at the McCarty Metro lacked De Gaulle to print a story like this

AND FINALLY...

They're Back at the McCarty Metro! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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  • The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
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  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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  • Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
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  • The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"


We at the McCarty Metro, from time-to-time,  like to bring you current news from other publications that might be of interest to our Metro readers. Do you have an article you would like to share? Scan it and attach it in an e-mail, or just send me the url.


The McCarty Metro
9323 Sussex
Detroit, MI 48228
VE8-9470

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