Metro News

Jerry's World
Home Remedy

A 2004 DMGC Story

Peanut & Jocko

April Update
Iraq Sandstorm

Unknown Soldier

Remembering 9/11


Recipe Exchange


My Final Thought



There will be a Memorial Weekend bar-b-que at Mom's house on Sunday, May 29, and all are welcome. Bring your working duds, as we will do some spring cleaning in and around the house, as well as doing some landscaping work in the front and back. The day will highlight a top notch cook-out featuring Steve (5-second rule) McCarty on the grill. The more people that can come and help, the easier the total job will be. We will start at about 1 pm.

Dateline Augusta, MI
The field is set, the odds are in, and its' snowing. Yes, that can only mean one thing... IT'S TIME FOR GULL LAKE 21!

There are 3 McCartys competing in this years' event. Kelly McCarty, Chris McCarty and Steve McCarty will be joined by other Metro subscribers Bob Balch, Jim Seeling, Jerry Klotz, Larry Wendt, John Russo, and Mike Wiacek as they are all vying for the coveted 'green jacket' that has been donned proudly by the 20 previous champs. Gull Lake 21 will take place on May 11,12 and 13th. The tournament this year will consist of 54 holes for individual skins (18 holes all three days) and 36 holes as a four-man scramble (18 holes each of the first 2 days)

* Tee Times

May 11, 2005 from 8:33 - 9:00 AM *
@ Bedford Valley
May 11, 2005 from 2:33 - 3:00 PM
@ Stonehedge North
May 12, 2005 from 8:06 - 8:33 AM

Stonehedge South
May 12, 2005 from 2:24 - 2:51 PM

West Course
May 13, 2005 from 8:06 - 8:33 AM

@ East Course

For more information on the courses, accommodations, maps, etc., check out the Gull Lakeview website at

Normally, we would go to Las Vegas to get the odds, but budget cuts in the Metro forced us to send Dennis McCarty to the Windsor Casino for this years odds. ED NOTE: All odds have been converted from the metric system.

The Odds (As Of May 1, 2005)

.2-1Dan Kresbaugh.10-1Bob Balch
.5-2Steve McCarty.10-1Larry Wendt
.3-1Glen Lukas.12-1Jerome Klotz
.3-1Chris McCarty.12-1Steve Kobylczyk
.5-1Dave Wendt.20-1Don Lambert
.5-1Mike Wiacek.20-1John Russo
.7-1Kelly McCarty.20-1Jim Seeling
.7-1Frank Merriam.20-1Ben Toner

Good Luck and Good Weather to all of the golfers.

Other News Headlines

The 10th Annual Dan McCarty Golf Classic will be held on August 6, 2005, at Greystone Golf and Country Club. Greystone beat out several other golf courses in their quest to hold the prestigious event for the seventh time. The DMGC raised over $10,000 last year for the Lupus Alliance of America in an event held at Twin Lakes Golf Club, and hopes to do better this year. Over the past 9 years, the event has raised thousands of dollars for worthy charities in Dan's name, including the Kidney Foundation, Multiple Sclerosis Society, American Heart Association and the Lupus Alliance. The Lupus website is now on-line, and all that are interested are encouraged to register ASAP, as every year has been a sell-out. Visit today!!!

With word out that Brad Savage & The Cockroaches will come out of retirement for a one-time show. Other former bands are starting to jump on the bandwagon and re-releasing some of their big hits... but with new lyrics

Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
Roberta Flack -- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Marvin Gaye -- I Heard it Through the Grape Nuts
Procol Harem -- A Whiter Shade of Hair
Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations -- Papa's Got a brand new Kidney Stone
Abba -- Denture Queen
Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy -- I am Woman, Hear me Snore
Willie Nelson -- On the Throne Again
Leslie Gore -- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

A Minneapolis couple, Bob & Dianne Jenkins, decided to go to Florida to thaw out from this past icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, Bob left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, in Houston, TX, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor dead, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

What's Up with our Metro Subscribers?

Jake Balch, son of Metro subscriber Bob Balch, was goaltender for the state champion Mt. Clemens Penguins hockey team. Jake's story from the state game in Lapeer is here,
Photos are at

Little Caesers Championship Game story here:
Photos are at
Congratulations Jake!

Metro reader, Christina Rzepka, niece of Kelly & Margaret McCarty, was mentioned in a Washington Post article entitled "Prepared for Child Care". To view the entire article, go to

And Finally...

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared. 'You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, said the genie. 'As a reward I shall grant you one wish.' 'Well,' said the Prince, 'I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog.' They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. 'Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?' the Prince asked. The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. 'This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?' The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. 'I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana,'said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. 'But now I love this woman called Camilla,' and he showed the genie the second photo. 'You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?' The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, 'Let's have a look at that dog again.'
The grave stone was recently put into place for the late Johnny Cochran.

The McCarty Metro
9323 Sussex
Detroit, MI 48228

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