The McCarty Metro
August 2004 Edition

  

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Dateline 2004 Dan McCarty Golf Classic
The 2004 event was held on August 7 at Twin Lakes Golf Club. The outing had a new venue, and a new major sponsor. Cadillac Motors sponsored the event this year, and they were fantastic. The folks at Twin Lakes were great hosts, and Chuck Pottenger, the Lupus Alliance, and Steve & Kristen McCarty did a first rate job planning the event and getting things together. After a wonderful day of golf, and remembering the best brother and friend we could ask for, there some big winners. The
2004 DMGC Champions were Team 5A of Bosart, Anderson, Conway, and Fischer with a score of 11 Under Par 60. The Lupus Alliance was a big winner as well, as they were presented a check from the DMGC for $10,749.80. Don't forget to check out the DMGC page in this issue for a final wrap-up along with team pictures. See You All Next Year.


Dateline Lebanon, Tennessee

The Wilson County Fair in Lebanon, TN recently held their "Fairest of the Fair Competition" and two McCarty's decided to enter this years event. Knowing they didn't stand a chance (because their parents have no political or financial ties) Amanda and Lauren McCarty entered the competition in hopes of removing the corruption that has tainted this grand event. On the night of the pagent, each contestant needed to introduce themselves and welcome everyone to the fair. We contacted the McCarty family for their help in coming up with catchy opening lines. Special thanks to Jerry, Mike, Kelly, Kristen, and Sara McCarty. Also thanks to Mike Karpus of the Grand Rapids Press for his submissions. 

Neither Amanda or Lauren placed in the finals ... but they had a great time. 

A list of submitted lines is listed below

Dateline Macomb

Things to do at Mum's house other than sticking your thumb up your butt:

  • Cut grass
  • Trim hedges
  • Clean windows
  • Throw out junk in bedroom closets
  • Throw out junk in garage
  • Throw out everything in the laundry room
  • Throw out junk in shed
  • Check expiration dates on cans in the pantry, then throw everything out
  • Same with the Fridge
  • Clean and disinfect thumb

 


Off To College...

Going away to college can be difficult. The first time away from home, family, and friends. We are going to list some of our students who are away at college. If you have time, please send an e-mail to support our students. As I receive more students names, they will be added to the list below. 

StudentSchoolE-Mail Address
Brad McCartyCMUmccar1bj@cmich.edu
Amanda McCartyMTSUPanda12638@aol.com
Sara McCartyMTSUplzwriteme@aol.com
Jill McCartyUofMmccartyj@umich.edu

Submit A Student's Name

Name Of Student:
School Attending:
E-Mail Address:


Dateline Hollywood

Jill McCarty and two friends spent several days in L.A. with gracious hosts Jerry, Kathlene, Dana and Evan. A good time was had by all. And the see-a-celeb-o-meter was hot. The August sightings:

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver, their kids and little white dog at Starbucks in Malibu. Jill almost brushed arms with Ah-nuld and was subdued by 10 bodyguards.
  • Anne Hathaway ("Princess Diarrhea 2") at Groundlings Comedy Club in Hollywood. She was in the audience with a preppy who had a sweater tied around his neck. BONUS: Jill used the same toilet Anne did. She hasn't washed since.
  • David Caruso ("CSI: Miami" and formerly "NYPD Blue") at Newsroom Cafe in Hollywood. He was canoodling with his squeeze just outside the bathroom. TIP FOR SEEING CELEBS: Go to the bathroom often.
  • Two cops from "Law and Order SVU" at Morton's restaurant. They were eating.

Ketchup Heiress or Actor

Which is the real Teresa Heinz Kerry. I'm thinking its the one standing next to Fred Gwynn in the picture below.

Speaking Of Herman Munster...


Celebrity Sighting
If you ever tune into VH1 and see a special called "When KISS rules the world," look real hard. I'm in it for a split second. I realize this doesn't come close to Steve's recent pie-tasting appearance on the Food Channel. His "mmmmm" is already a cable TV classic. Anyway, I am right at the end of a segment about when the metal band visited Cadillac on Oct. 9, 1975. I'm the Cadillac Evening News guy in a black shirt with a 35 mm camera hung around my neck watching KISS talk to fans. An assistant football coach hooked the team on KISS, one thing led to another and the band dropped in and mugged for pics in town, came to a bonfire for a homecoming game and gave a concert in the gym.
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My top 5 memories of the KISS visit:

1. Gene Simmons lighting a bonfire with flames from his mouth.
2. People yelling at me to "stop, drop and roll."
3. Arthur Bremer sitting in a chair in the gym, just one row in back of me and three seats over.
4. Pickets outside the gym with signs: "Repent," "Devil's Music" and "Will Work for Food."
5. Never mind No. 3. I just remembered, that was when George Wallace -- not KISS -- visited Cadillac. 

How about the picture I took of the band's concert? It ran on the front page.

I only had 4 memories, but here are 5 headlines from the 10/10/75 issue of the Evening News:

1. "Kiss mania grabs school, Cadillac"
2. "Grain sale notice due"
3. "Not just swingers get VD" (Ann Landers column)
4. "Leroy council acts to solve beaver problem"
5. "Ford due in Detroit"


Submitted Opening Lines For The Wilson County Fair

  • "I realize this is a time of division in our country with people falling into two separate camps. And although you may want me to choose sides and choose one over the other. I will not.......I support both Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan."

  • "I ain't with these gals. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavillion. And we're gonna win that blue ribbon this year!!"

  • "For those of you wanting to know how I did my hair today, it's a combination of Dippity-Doo and 4 rides on the Tilt-A-Whirl."

  • "Welcome to Wilson County Fair - and please stay around after the Chilli Cook-off for a All-Star Belch Off with all the Pageant Contestants"

  • "I'm Amanda McCarty, or Mandy McCarty or M&M for short, and for you dyslexic people, that's still M&M.

  • "I'm Lauren McCarty and I want to welcome everyone to the Wilson County Fair and I please enjoy the corndogs and don't forget to tip your waitresses.

  • "Hey, vote for us -- we aren't related to any of y'all -- that truly makes it "fairest" of the fair".

  • "Hi, I'm Amanda ... and I'm Celebrating the Colors of America ... I'm white ..."

  • "Hellooooo ... Wilson County Fair .... let's get 'r done!"

  • "Hi, I'm Lauren ... do they call this Wilson County Fair because it's mediocre?"

  • "Who am I and what am I doing here?"

  • (in a slow, low drawn out voice) "I'm Amanda ... and I served in Vietnam ... that's all you need to know ... and I have a special plan for making this fair a success."

  • (show up with 3 blue ribbons on her evening gown) "I'm Amanda ... and I served in Vietnam ... I won blue ribbons ... that's all you need to know."

  • "I'm Lauren ... I've been standing backstage with 34 other girls, stabbing each other in the back and hoping to win this lousy two-bit title of Fairest of the Fair ... how the hell do you think I feel!"

  • "My name is ____ and the warmth you are showing me makes my heart melt like hot fudge on a sundae."

  • "Hi, Mike McCarty, Grand Rapids."

  • "Hi, I'm Amanda, welcome to our fair. Guess y'all could say Wilson County is fair-minded. (drum roll here) I realize some of you traveled a pretty fair distance to get here, so thanks."

  • "Hi, I'm Lauren. You already know who you are. (Giggle politely here, judges will love that.) Welcome to our fair. Our theme is "the colors of America." Talk about colors, I spilled a beautiful blueberry cobbler on my pink dress last night. (Polite giggle, again.)"

  • "Hi! We've been waiting for you." Alternate with, "Hi! We thought you'd never get here."

  • "Welcome to the fair! You didn't lock your car, did you? Just wondering."

  • "Hey there! Lookin' good! (then give wink and click of mouth)."


Dateline Pensacola, Florida

Bubba Bechtol, City Councilman from Pensacola, Florida, was asked on a local live radio talk show the other day just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. "If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's scrotum to a car's battery cables will save one American GI's life, then I have just two things to say-- Red is positive, Black is negative" 


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