The McCarty Metro

Still Under The Basement Steps 

Ode to Gull Lake
An expose by Jerry “don’t call me Francis” Klotz
The game of golf has been steeped in tradition since it’s glorious beginnings in the old world. The legacy of Bobby Jones is relived every year in Augusta Georgia at the Masters. The British Open takes us back to the days when wins and loses where determined more times than not by the wind coming off the Scottish coast than the titanium drivers that allow for bigger than life drives. 

And so goes another page in the history books as 2004 marked the 20th year for the annual Gull Lake Invitational. 16 of the worlds most…..uh……well, 16 golfers gathered on a hot and muggy Wednesday morning to test their mettle against not only the course, but the brutal insults that were guaranteed to cloak them over the next three days. 

In a tournament that saw everything Mother Nature had to offer, each individual competitor ran the gamut of emotions, from the elation of a 30 foot put to win a skin, to the utter despair and cruelty that comes when your tee shot hits a tree and goes 70 yards behind you (Steve Kobylczyk)! There was Kelly (Oh my aching back) McCarty “calling out” the other members of his foursome to take a swig of some NASTY alcoholic beverage that would make a Kentucky backwoods still moonshine taste like a fine French cognac, then mercilessly laughing while the recipient gasped for air and looked for a more palatable chaser. 

The cast of characters began to look more and more like a pulp fiction comic strip as the week rolled on. From Glenn, “What are you a #$@#% choirboy ” Lukas, to Bert “You Talkin to ME” DiBartolomeo, each added an ingredient of spice and flavor to this melting pot of personalities. In the end the true war of attrition was waged in the evening as Ben “the Walrus” Toner’s chili on top of 10 brewskis, the greasiest Patti Melts known to man, and a myriad of “At the turn Hot Dogs” began to settle in as the night wore on. This, my friends, was no place for the faint of heart. The close of another successful year came as Frank “The Tank” Merriman doled out the money to the lucky winners (He came in first…..Hmmmmm), and the exhausted and belittled combatants began to contemplate the week, and speculate on who cheated on which hole!!!!! 

The author would like to thank all of the participants for their good nature and the organizers for the invite. See you next year!!!!

View Gull Lake XX Results

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