| . |  | | Well it’s springtime, and that means those McCarty Grandbrats will start thinking about their summer vacations. Those little lazy losers just start their school year in September, get a Christmas Vacation, Easter Vacation, and then a Summer Vacation. I haven’t seen so many vacations since the Chevy Chase film festival at the Roseville Theater. I just had that Chris and Chrissy over to my house for their spring break and after a week with them, I’m glad I’m not in college, because I’d die of the boredom.
When these little grandbrats come to visit, they just sit around like bumps on the log. “Oh…..we just want to sit and relax in the Hot Tub” Well fiddle foey, when I was a kid my Dad didn’t waste anytime time on our vacations. He’d pack the whole vacation into two days. We’d go to the Detroit Zoo, Irish Hills, Prehistoric Village and Stoney Creek. And then in the afternoon we’d go running down hills. My memories of our vacations are car doors slamming when we were coming and going, but we didn’t care we loved it!! Cause we always got souvenirs.
And these pushover brothers of mine, they will give their kids the world. They are flying their little brats to Baltimore, Florida, Texas and California. I hope their kids ask me for something, because the only thing I’m gonna give ‘em, is a swift kick in the pants. When I was growing up, I earned all my money myself. I had a paper route and that wasn’t enough, so we sold newspapers to sick people in Grace Hospital. Sometimes we’d get lucky and the guy would be in surgery so we could go through his drawers. If that didn’t give me enough money, I would cheat the retarded kids at school out of their milk money. I knew the value of a dollar back then, and I’m better for it, today.
And it won’t be hard to find those little grandbrats on their spring vacation because they will be sitting in front of the television playing with their Cube, or their X-Box, or Playstation 2. Instead of watching endless coverage of the Iraqi War, they’ll be playin Crazy Taxi until 2:00 in the morning. When I was a kid, the only toy we got for our Spring Vacation was a kite. And it would be a crappy kite too. The kind that you had to make out of Little Caesar’s pizza paper and it wouldn’t fly 3 feet off the ground. And then my 'know it all' brothers would keep telling me it needed a longer tail, until it got to the point that I’d be running down the street with a kite weighted down by a six feet tail made of rags, towels, and underpants. I’d spend 3 hours untangling string from that crappy kite, but I didn’t care, I loved it!!!
So let those little McCarty Morons spend their Vacation doing nothing, they’ll never know how much fun they’re missing. And the next time, they say they are bored and want something to do, give them some pizza paper and string and tell them to go running down hills.
Happy Spring!! |
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