What is this crap about the Detroit Tigers needing a new place to play baseball? I have heard it all! It's bad enough that these baseball players need to make a gazillion dollars a year, but now they need a brand spanking new stadium that we gotta pay for? These players today make me madder than Bill Veeck on Disco Demolition night. When I was a kid, we played baseball because we liked it and we didn't need no fancy stadium.

Today's players need to have neatly groomed and manicured stadiums with the grass trimmed and the dirt raked and softly sprinkled with water. Fooey! When I was a kid, we played on a field full of stones. You'd ride your bike around the infield with a rake attached to the back to get the big chunks of cement out of the way. Then, you'd make bases out of rocks, splintered wood, or sheets of cardboard with a big rock on it. When guys slid into a base, you could watch the flesh peel off their legs. We permenently scarred our legs, but we loved it because we didn't know any better.

And these new stadiums have to have plush suites so corporate big wigs can sit and try to figure out the game. "Oh dear, I believe when the batter grabs his genitals it means he is ready to receive a pitched ball". And that's the team owner! When we was kids, Mrs. Brown would bring her own lawn chair and sit and ring a stupid cow bell until Mickey and Pauly Bobo would climb up a tree and pee on her. And you didn't have to worry about refreshments because Chuckie Brown made everybody so sick drinking from his plaque covered Coke bottle that nobody wanted anything. We were grossed out by fat ladies and guys with gum disease, but we didn't care because we came to see baseball and we loved it!

I'm sick and tired of paying big ticket prices to see baseball. If they want to pay that much money to one guy, then they should save money by using less players. If these prima donnas are so good, make 'em call their field and save a few bucks. We could even have the hitting team supply the catcher, pitcher's mound out for first, and even invisible men running. The way I figure it, we could get these teams down to 4 or 5 guys. And if that happens, I'm gonna save ten bucks and just go watch John Staley throw a rubber ball against his porch.