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Is Your Kid a Dweeb?
How to tell by Jerry McCarty
Does your child...
1. Spend hours in the Star Trek -- Voyager chat room?
2. Wear a elastic eyeglass holder when playing chess?
3. Have his/her beanie baby collection alphabetized in a computer database?
4. Have a Bill Gates poster in his locker?
5. Have permanent creases in his underpants due to excessive wedgies?
6. Have John Tesh stickers on his/her skateboard?
7. Want to borrow your black leather pants and skinny ties?
8. Wear a helmet when not riding a bike?
9. Says his favorite Spice Girl is "Oregano?"
10. Cut the end off a signed Bobby Hull hockey stick to play street hockey?
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Scoring
For every yes answer, give yourself 1 point
| Points | Comments |
| 0 | Follow up with a DNA test, this may not be McCarty kid |
| 1-3 | This kid has overcome hereditary obstacles |
| 4-6 | There's a swirly waiting with this kid's name on it |
| 7-9 | Lock your kid in a room with a Squirrel Nut Zippers cd |
| 10 | Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Brad Savage |
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