Dateline Dan McCarty Memorial
Due to an overwhelming demand by the McCartys, these new rules will be implemented effective next year...
1. Teams with matching shirts are allowed to skip all water hazards.
2. Long drives include the initial drive plus one kick.
3. Individuals who kneel down to evaluate how the green breaks will be shot.
4. All golf carts will be equipped with passenger-side air bags.
5. No shirt, no shoes, no dice
Dateline Greystone
Not to say that Chris McCarty's team did not know much about golf, but when Chris picked up his team in his mini van, one of his high school buddies noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What are those things for?" Chris said, "They're to hold my balls when I drive." "Wow," his buddy said, "these Chrysler products have everything, don't they?
Dateline Grand Rapids
Papa, from Papa Romano's Pizzaria, was nominated by Mike McCarty as the best damn 2 handed waiter in the city. Mike says, "Although he could only get 2 drinks at a time, he didn't even flinch at the fact that we had an odd number of people in our party, and that's impressive." Papa would have been there to accept the award, but he had to make a delivery. He did state though, in no uncertain terms, that he would be back in 10 minutes or less.
Dateline Clinton Township
Well, I don't have to tell you that the song "Waterloo" by Abba is sweeping the nation due to the efforts of "record boy" Eric Swan. Eric states, "Even though I only know one word (waterloo) in the whole song, it sure is a catchy tune. Eric can be seen at "The Wellington Pub" on Thursday nights singing "Waterloo" along with other one word hits like, "HEY", (that rock song they sing at sporting events), and "Ha ha ha ha, Wipe Out", from Wipe Out (technically 3 words, but just shows you the versatility of this fine entertainer).
Dateline Tennessee
LC Productions is expanding its' entertainment division. President and CEO (and the only employee) Larry McCarty was touring the Southwest when he stopped to entertain in a Tennessee bar. Larry went through his tribute to Elvis song medley when he started his ventriloquism show. He went through his usual stupid redneck jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stood up and said threateningly, "I've heard just about enough of your smart mouth hillbilly jokes-we ain't all stupid here in Tennessee!" Flustered, Larry began to apologize, when the big guy interrupted him and said, "You stay out of this mister-I'm talking to the smart mouthed little fella on your knee!"
Dateline McCarty Metro Headquarters
HEY MIKE!!!!! WHERE ARE MY SNACKS????
See ya next month...
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