Jerry's

takes a look at

Thanksgiving

Well, it's Thanksgiving and that means that those little McCarty brats will be stuffing their faces and then grabbing the remote control and plopping down on their comfortable sofas to watch football with Big Screen TV's, with 75 Cable Channels and Surround Sound. Just thinking of those pampered pilgrims makes me hotter than that thermometer that pops out of the turkey's butt when it is done.

I can see those little McCarty Mayflower Brats now watching ESPN, ESPN2, Fox, Fox Sports, Fox Sports II, HBO, CNN Sports, and Pass. When I was a kid the only stations that had anything good were 2, 4, and 7. And if you didn't like anything on those you had to watch Mr. Dress-Up or the Friendly Giant on Channel 9. And there sure wouldn't be any football on those stations because the football game was always blacked out in Detroit. All there was on TV was crap. First the parade and then hours and hours of crap!!

But we weren't whiners like these little brats nowadays, we didn't let that stop us. We would go upstairs to the big guys room and put tin foil on the antenna until we could watch the game on WBFE from Ohio or something. And when you could make out anything through the static and snow on the TV, you had to stop and freeze no matter where you were, so you didn't screw up the picture. Then my dad would grab his football pool squares and we'd watch it for about two hours before we realized we were watching a horseshoe tournament from some station in Canada. But that didn't stop my dad, he'd still call up Bob Block and say "If this guy gets a leaner, I get $25 right?"

And surround sound? We invented it. We would turn up the radio real loud in the background so that we could hear the game even though we couldn't see it. We spent Thanksgiving in front of a snowy TV watching static and listening to AM radio but we didn't care we loved it!! Cause it was the holidays and we got to squirt whipped cream in our mouths!! Yee-ha!!

Click Here To Go To The Next Page

Click Here To Return To The Metro Home Page