ll, it’s October and that means all of those McCarty Grandbrats will be going out to restaurants and getting the most extravagant desserts. Just thinking about those Chocolate Layer Kooks makes me hotter than the Cranberry Cobbler in my TV Dinner after I forgot to peel back the aluminum foil. Desserts were way better when we were kids.

I can picture those Swanky Sweet Tooths ordering their Crème Brulee at a Fancy Restaurant. “Ohhhhh! I like the top to be scorched with a small blow torch.” Fiddle Fooey! That Crème Brulee is nothing more than expensive pudding! When we were kids, my Dad got 12 one-gallon cans of Butterscotch Pudding for free from Harper Grace Hospital that they were throwing away. We ate that pudding for a year and a half. Sure, we ate food that even terminally ill patients didn’t want, but we didn’t care, we loved it!

And you can bet those Dessert Duds will be ordering their Double Fudge Brownie Chocolate Layer Cakes with a gigantic brownie, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry. When were kids if you wanted ice cream you got a choice. You could have Borden’s Neapolitan or you got nothing! Sure that Borden’s Neapolitan was in the freezer so long, you had to chip off the ice crystals and the paper carton would be stuck to your scoop, but we didn’t care, we loved it.

And you can bet those Extravagant Epicureans will be ordering lots of expensive deserts like Chocolate Soufflés or Tiramisu. When were kids my Mom would get strawberries from some guy riding a truck around the street for 4 quarts for a dollar, then my dad would by a week old angel food cake on sale for 50 cents and a can of Red-i-Whip. We had strawberry shortcakes for about 11 cents a person and we thought we were living like kings. Sure the strawberries were covered with DDT and the shortcakes were moldy, but we didn’t care we loved it!!

So you keep spending a fortune on your loser Grandbrats, but I’m making desserts the old fashioned way. I got me one of those one gallon cans of pudding and I’m going to open it up with a screwdriver and my kids are gonna love it!! Wait…. This smells like Sherman Williams Beige…..