THE BEST OF

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It's Thanksgiving Day, and that means that McCarty Kids everywhere will be waited on hand and foot by their parents and get to live like little kings and queens. Just thinking about those little brats makes me more steamed than one of those little rubbery carrots. When I was a kid, we celebrated Thanksgiving the old fashioned way!

These parents nowadays have all kinds of fruits and vegetable dips for those little brats to eat before their meal. You'd think there was a regular smorgasbord going on. When I was a kid, if you had to eat something before dinner, you ate a date. Little brown shrivelled up pieces of blah! And my Mom would try to trick us every year by putting something good like a pineapple or a cherry in 'em. But it didn't matter cause after you ate the pineapple you were still stuck with a sticky date. But we shut up and we ate 'em cause we was happy to get whatever we could.

And then these parents today let their kids eat dinner wherever they want when guests come over. "Ohhhh, I'd like to sit on the couch and watch television" or "I'd like to eat and play Nintendo until my brain is like jello" The only thing I was sure of when we had company was that I'd be sitting on the crummy piano bench. Oh, I'd be sharing that backless bench with one of my rotten brothers and I had to sit up straight while I ate my food because if I didn't, my Mom would make me sit on phone books and everybody would laugh. "Oh look at the little phone book boy!!" But we loved it, because at least we had a place to sit and eat.

And Nowadays after the game these kids watch MTV, a movie, or any of the other 324 channels available on cable. When I was a kid, on Thanksgiving we just sat there and watched my Dad try to get the Lions game on Channel 8 from Cleveland. He would create some modern art sculptured aluminum foil antenna to try to improve the reception, while we stared at a blank screen. And if my Dad thought he saw a football helmet through the snowy static, NOBODY MOVED. You had to freeze in your position for the whole game while everyone watched static and listened to the game on radio.

So this Thanksgiving, sit down with your family and think about that very first Thanksgiving Day when the pilgrims invited the Indians over and some poor pilgrim kid got stuck sitting on the piano bench.

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