The McCarty Metro - Margaret's Route

IT'S A CONSPIRACY... AND EVERYONE IS IN ON IT!!!
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I don't know about you, but I have noticed that the steps up to my customer's porch are getting steeper. My mail bag is also heavier, and, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked my route to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long the street had become!
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And you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young kids on my route. They speak in whispers all the time! If I ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger emotionally than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection... well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

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Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 7 dress as 14 or 16? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling? I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK, PEOPLE!!! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities. PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED! PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts, as they are smaller than they once were.