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Metro News
  • DATELINE, OAKLAND HILLS, MICHIGAN
    Steve McCarty announces that the 11th annual Dan McCarty Golf Classic to benefit the Lupus Alliance of Michigan will be held at Twin Lakes Golf Club on Saturday, June 10, 2006. An 8:00 AM Shot Gun start is schedules for this scramble. The entry fees include 18 holes of Golf, Cart, and Driving Range warm-up, with a 1:00 PM Lunch - The Old Fashioned Cook Out:
    Choice of three of the following: Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Chicken Breast, or Italian Sausage. Mixed Garden Salad, Potato Salad and Cole Slaw, Homemade Cookies & Brownies, Coffee, Tea & Soft Drinks.
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  • DATELINE, HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
    In an effort to jump-start and invigorate the 25 year career of the band "Brad Savage & The Cockroaches", Brad Savage looks to replace Cockroach lead singer Eric Swan with none other than Johnny Bravo, Greg Brady. Says Brad, "All I wanted Eric to do was to get the perm thing going again, and he refused". "Billy Idol gets it, but Eric doesn't!", Savage went on to say. Needless to say, Greg Brady has had the perm for many years now. In a related story, Brad also is looking into replacing long-time roadie Paul Stevens with non other than Lou Ferrigno. Brad claims that The Incredible Hulk can lift his big Sun Speakers without breaking a sweat, and Steve would just complain.
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  • DATELINE, GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN
    Mike McCarty plans to write a book of short takes on his klutziness. He figures he's got plenty of material. So far, he has the title: "Michael, Michael, Michael: Confessions of a Klutz." Also the price: $19.95. Now all he has to do is fill it in. If any of our Metro readers can think of some good examples, please e-mail to mccartkm4@earthlink.net. This book comes on the heels of several other McCarty attempts at stardom. Dennis McCartys' novel, "Oh My Gosh, Iraq'd The Car" is still in the works, Jerry McCarty's movie "Peanut & Jocko meet Johnny Knoxville" has been put on hold because no one wants to see a monkey, elephant and jack ass on the same screen. In a related story... Based on the success of "Brokeback Mountain", Steve McCarty has been seen going through his cedar chest because he is sure his gay-looking cowboy outfit is back in style.
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  • DATELINE LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
    From January 25-29, I spent some time with Jerry, Kathlene, Dana & Evan in Valencia. I had a great time and was able to meet some new and old friends.
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    Kelly & Joanna Cassidy from Boston Legal
    (she whispered Denny Crane to me)

    Kelly & Dean Stockwell from Quantum Leap
    Ask Ziggy what are the chances of me taking Dean's hat
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    Jerry & Dennis Devine
    Dennis is coming out with directing 2 movies this year

    Jerry & Jayne Meadows
    Talked for about an hour & came to dinner later
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  • DATELINE, DETROIT, MICHIGAN
    The Metro staff takes its hat off to NFL star Jerome “The Bus” Bettis, of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Bettis (Mackenzie Class of ’90) will play in Super Bowl XL in Detroit on Sunday, Feb. 5, in Detroit. But Bettis is not the only Stag who made good. There are countless others, including a few McCarty Metro reporters, who once walked the halls of Mackenzie. Some other Mackenzie grads:
    • Ray Lane (Class of a long time ago) – Longtime Detroit area sportscaster, whose broadcasting highlights include announcing the name of the Pistons’ new home: “The Paaaaaaaaa-lusssssssssss. …. The Paaaaaaaaa-lusssssssssss … The … “
    • Mike Dakesian and Steve Truman (Class of ’67) – These two Mackenzie golf team members drove on to greater things, including a regular appearance in the Dan McCarty Golf Classic. Fore!
    • Dennis McCarty (Class of ’68) – This Stag lives in Iraq, crunching numbers and trying not be a crunched number. Dennis uses “The Bus’ strategy – keep low to the ground, and try to break tackles.
    • Truck and his brother Train (Class of around ’67) – Big guys on the Mackenzie football team. You didn’t want to have a collision with them.
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  • DATELINE, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
    Last week a one hundred and one year old Tennessee man got married for the third time to a 68 year old women.  When asked why he married a woman 33 years his junior, the man said   “Yes, I’d love a sammich”
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  • DATELINE LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
    What happened in Vegas is going to stay in Vegas!
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  • DATELINE CARNIVAL CRUISELINES
    Over the Christmas break, 11 of us made a journey to the Caribbean Sea for a cruise to celebrate Margaret's birthday. Everyone had a great time.
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    Brad & Austin on dressup night
    Watch out ladies in the discoteque

    Chris & Chrissy cuddle up on the sofa
    By the way, what is that drink Chrissy?
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    Margaret soaks up some rays on the deck
    By the way, Pedro won! WHOO WHOO

    Our wait staff Anna from the Ukraine, and Abi from Turkey
    And the future Mrs. McCarty
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  • DATELINE AUGUSTA, MICHIGAN
    The coveted green jacket will be up for grabs once again at Gull Lake XXI. It is only four months away the dates this year are May 10,11 and 12th. The prices have not changed from last year. The 3 days of golf two night lodging package is $212.46 including tax, plus the per person cart fee of $14.00 per 18 or a total of $70.00. Mike Wiacek has made the reservation for 16 players once again. He must give a one month notice to make any changes. Everyone seemed to enjoy the switch to more scramble golf which will continue again this year. Closest to the pin must make birdie will continue in scramble play. Long drive needs work......., too much whiskey is consumed to understand the rules. I think the putt off has to become a tradition. http://www.gulllakeview.com/
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    Date

    5/10
    5/10
    5/11
    5/11
    5/12

    Time 

    8:24-8:51
    2:33-3:00
    8:33-9:00
    2:51-3:18
    7:48-8:15

    Course

    Bedford
    North Stonehedge
    South Stonehedge
    West
    East

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  • DATELINE WASHINGTON, DC

    Special Bulletin from the Pentagon
    The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

    1. The season opened today.
    2. There is no limit.
    3. They taste just like chicken.
    4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
    5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

    We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

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  • DATELINE METRO, HQ
    The 2005 Annual Metro Christmas Party was held on December 24. These pictures were taken before I got loopy. A great time was had by all.
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    Jenna rides her new "hog"

    Megan opening up presents
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    Santa is looking for his gray whiskers

    Mom say's we are not supposed to buy her anything
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    Is that silly putty?

    I can't read the age on the cake.
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  • DATELINE SOMEWHERE IN MICHIGAN
    An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied: a can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. He said, " What is it?" The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."


We at the McCarty Metro, from time-to-time,  like to bring you current news from other publications that might be of interest to our Metro readers. Do you have an article you would like to share? Scan it and attach it in an e-mail, or just send me the url.


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