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DATELINE VALENCIA, CALIFORNIA
Jerry spent Christmas Eve with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Donal Logue and Henry Winkler, serving meals of chicken, macaroni and cheese, and mashed potatoes to the homeless at the LA Mission. It was Jerry’s eighth Christmas Eve at the LA Mission and the 8th time that the homeless have said “Man, that Goldblum is really looking bad.”

Dana and Evan McCarty received a microphone with a laugh track and applause pedals on the base. The kids are regularly doing stand-up comedy in the living room where Jerry is trying to teach the kids the Bob McCarty technique of repeating the punch line 8 or 9 times. Jerry was quoted as saying “That Evan is really funny, but I just hate it when he works blue. He doesn’t have to do that. He’s funny”
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TWO MCCARTY HOAXES
After a story broke on ABC Television in Detroit last month, former Detroit Police Inspector Rick McCarty did a final hoax before his retirement by calling himself Steve McCarty during the interview.

Once again, it seems another hoax has erupted in California as Jerry McCarty impersonated himself as the brother of actress Jenny McCarthy at the LA Mission. His first plan had to be aborted when Jerry came with a name tag of Charlie McCarthy, but some homeless guy kept trying to put his hand up Jer's butt while drinking water and trying to talk.

Some other unsubstantiated hoaxes include a sighting of Gerry Cooney at Fraser Public Schools, Betty White at St. Michaels Parrish, and former Cockroach guitarist Eddie Stein homeless, carrying all his belongings in a Meijer bag on the streets of Macomb Township.

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DATELINE MACOMB TOWNSHIP, MICHIGAN
The Annual McCarty Metro Christmas Party took place on Christmas Eve at Mom's house. There to help celebrate the birth of Christ by playing Texas Hold 'em were Kelly, Margaret, Chris, Brad, Austin, Rick, Erin, Kevin, Steve, Kristen, Megan, and of course, Mom. The night was highlighted with great food, great company and great presents. Also in earlier for the holiday season, Larry was able to stop up for a few days. That was followed up by a visit from Sara, Amanda and Lauren. During Christmas week, Ryan, Missy and Jill stopped by to visit mom, and Mike & Karen were in for New Years. It was great seeing everyone over the holiday season.
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Megan made Sara a birthday cake3 boys, 3 girls, 1 grandmaMegan opening presents
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For me???Grandma, we'll split 50/50 if you winGot any 3's... Kevin, this isn't Go Fish!
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Hope Everyone Had A Merry Christmas

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DATELINE IRAQ
International editor, Dennis McCarty, dispatched one of his top field reporters, Carrie Downs, to get an exclusive video interview with some of Saddam Hussein loyalists who are still fighting the Americans in the Iraqi city of Tikrit. As you will be able to see by the video, there is still a lot of hatred in this country.
Click here to view the video.
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DATELINE LEBANON, TENNESSEE
In what seems to be an annual New Years event, Larry McCarty once again leaped over several babies at the stroke of midnight 

AND FINALLY... DATELINE HELL
The McCarty Metro once again scooped all major publications when they recorded the first words out of Yassir Arafats mouth after he died

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A Happy 2005 From The McCarty Metro Newsroom


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