| OFF THE WIRE!!!|
|Gas Prices For Your Area ||Traffic & Construction|
|Always check the McCarty Metro for up-to-date gas prices and construction zones before you travel!|
|Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)||This Month's Trivia Contest|
|1. A man is walking with a basket of eggs. He meets someone who buys one-half of his eggs plus one-half of an egg. Further on he meets another person who buys one-half of his eggs plus one-half of an egg. Finally he meets a third man who buys one-half of his eggs plus one half an egg. At this point he has sold all of his eggs, and he never broke an egg. How many eggs did the man have to start with? Answer|
2. On the table there is a bowl of M&M's. All but four are yellow. All but four are red. All but four are green. How many M&M's are in the bowl? Answer
3. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel? Answer
4. Take the letters ERGRO. Put three letters in front of it, and the same three letters behind to form a common English word. Answer
What device was first used during the Civil War period on the warship The USS Monitor, and is now used on every American ship built since?
Last Month's results on the Update page
George Bush - He bugs Gore.
Dormitory - Dirty Room.
Evangelist - Evil's Agent.
Desperation - A Rope Ends It.
The Morse Code - Here Come Dots.
Slot Machines - Cash Lost In 'Em.
Animosity - Is No Amity.
Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler.
Snooze Alarms - Alas! No More Z's.
A Decimal Point - I'm A Dot In Place
Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one.
President Clinton of the USA - To Copulate he finds interns.
McCarty Metro Chat Room
The McCarty Metro Chat Room is open 24/7.
We have a family & friends chat
every Sunday at 10pm EST
The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!
This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.
The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification. Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10.pm and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 .am. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month.
Share this with your children and grandchildren. NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN!
Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor
| I would like to RSVP for the Cockroach Reunion. I am bringing 60 friends of mine who are on parole from Jackson State Prison. They are fun guys and we will be bringing a bag of Cheetos to pass around. Thanks to Bob for hosting!! -Tiny (a.k.a. Cop Killer)|
ED NOTE: Hope you and the boys have a great time. By the way, tell them Bob says that the family's maid is off limits.
Kel, another great job on the Metro. And the "Cripple Creek" music on the bluegrass page was awesome. I cranked that one way up. Keep up the good work. -Mike
ED NOTE: I received a similar e-mail. It read... Kel, another great job on the Metro. The "Cripple Creek" music on the bluegrass page was awful. One of my employees cranked that one way up. Keep the banjo music off your website.. PLEASE. - Mike's Boss
Another excellent paper. As usual I skipped Peanut and Jocko. I want to appeal your answer about what side the button is on a woman's blouse. And how did you get a picture with your sons and you're the tallest? -Millard
ED NOTE: I guess it depends if you are the woman, or the guy helping the woman with her blouse. Also, it's amazing what I can do with digital photography, isn't it!!!
|Photo as it appeared last month||Original Photograph|
I'm thinking of taking a vacation to the Bahama's to get away for a while. What is your opinion of the Castaways Hotel?? -Jocko
ED NOTE: Castaways is a modest and unassuming hotel despite its platinum location adjacent to the International Bazaar and the casino in Freeport. You stay here because of its location and the low price. It's not on the beach, but a free shuttle will take you to nearby Williams Town Beach or Xanadu Beach. If you do go, tell JG that the 3 white boys from Michigan with the beer salami said "hi".
In last month's news photo I noticed the singer for Rash Xuberance was wearing black leather pants. They look suspiciously like the ones Brad Savage used to wear complete with the Patty Melt stain on the front. Could it be?? -Just Curious
ED NOTE: I don't think so. I contacted Brad Savage, and he said he gave his rather large, but famous pants to charity, along with his hot chocolate stained safety boy outfit from 1971.
Sorry I'm late. Happy 46th Birthday on 28-Jul-05. Hope you had fun. -Dennis
ED NOTE: Thanks Dennis, I did!.
|Aunt Kristen's Rules...|
... for all McCarty Grand-kiddos to live by (OR ELSE!)
You must complete high school – yes, with good grades
You must go to college – again, with good grades
Get a good job
Then let some time pass – like a few years, at least…
Then wait some more, and ….
Then have children.
Just so it’s clear – the order is crucial.
|Our Family & Friends Sites||Add Your Site's Link To The Metro|
DID YOU KNOW?
- A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
- A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
- The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
- A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
- Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
- A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
- A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2." (That's why my house looked bigger on the plans.)
- During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance [and Heston's wearing a watch]. (The red car came in last. Probably a Timex. And a man actually was killed.)
- On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
- Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
- Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
- The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
- There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
- The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before.
- The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
- If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death (Who was the sadist who discovered this?)
- Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.
- The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
- The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
- The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
- The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. (1956 Plymouth offered this feature...really.)
- Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
- By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. (Like I'm gonna be calm enough to try this?)
- Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
- Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
- Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
- An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
- The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
- The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
- Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages it.
- Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
This Month's Staff
|Joke Of The Month|
Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?" "Why don't you ask the rabbi?" says Morris. Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, "Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?" "No, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!" quickly answers the rabbi.
Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him. "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, "Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?" To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, "By all means, my good man. By all means."
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