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| New Years Resolutions | 
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| | New Year’s Resolutions of the McCartys |
| - Stop emptying the sand in my shoes over my computer keyboard. – Dennis
- Become chapter president of the Detroit Lions Fan Club. – Rick
- Get a booth next to Gary Busey at the Hollywood Collector’s Show. – Jerry
- Run for mayor of Lebanon, Tenn., and write 50 letters to the editor. Or was it write to the mayor of Lebanon in 50 words or less? – Larry
- Enforce a new rule: All Westerners must keep both shoes on in the office. – Vinnell Arabia Computer Dept.
- Triple the pay of reporters on The McCarty Metro. – Kelly
- Start up a deflated stockowners support group: Phlat Cat. – Steve
- See if Kelly has any “Cockroach Party” records left and sell ’em at the Hollywood Collector’s Show, next to Gary Busey. – Jerry
- Ask Uncle Steve how he learned to change a baby’s diaper without gagging. – Andy
- Introduce the Knights of Columbus to Robert’s Rules of Order. – Kelly
- Become a D.A. so I can get to say, “Man one, 8 to 15.” – Rick
- Tell Andy that a bandana tied loosely and placed over the lower half of the face is a necessity when cleaning vomit or changing diapers. – Mum
- Record a self-help album, “Play Drums with Lake Speed.” – Larry
- Finish writing a novel. So far, I have: “Militia Justice” by Mike McCarty, $19.95. Several kids raced around a bend in the road, cut across a parched lawn and plopped themselves down on the first shady, unoccupied tufts of grass they could find at the edge of Shoreline Drive.” – Mike
- Open up a used mail-order golf club business. – Rick and Kevin
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